What reams true

I'm not sure at all how my life changed over night, but it did. I take it back. I know exactly how every second occured. And I know that my favorite part was around 4:30 a.m. on a tuesday night when we didn't have school the next day and I laid in his arms and we listened to the rain pound against the roof of my car that was parked in the junior lot of atholton... and pounding even louder was our hearts, undressed with no secrets to keep.
I'm finding that so many cliches exist for a reason. There are beautiful feelings and thoughts that need describing and common ways of doing so. Thus, we run out of new ways to express our universal feelings. And that's okay.
I could go on for hours about everything that I've already learned from a single human being in the time span of merely two weeks... But what that tells me is that it was all within me from the start. I'm lucky because I've found a person with a soul that aligns with mine.. and we are able to bring out the best in one another. And it amazes me every day. And I absolutly love it. And it scared me at first, because it took so long to get to where I am as an individual.. and now to think about really sharing that with someone else, and giving part of myself away... is risky. But what the hell else am I living for? To sit on my gold? I think not, baby. I know not.
Enough about Ryan....
Kathleen's birthday is the 15th and I will get/make/find her the perfect gift.
Mr. Bill's birthday is the 11th and I want to make him something cool, too.
HANNUKAH ALREADY STARTED AND I HAVE NOTHING FOR MY MOTHER YET!!
So I think I'll go shopping sometime this weekend.. in between the thousand other priorities that take over.
I'm writing a lot because 1) I never write and probably won't even post this anywhere for a person to see.. 2) if I DO post this, it'll give you something to read because it's rare that I write in these things.. too many other things that interest me.

I've decided not to think about college or the future or the past or anything but today. Mainly because I can't handle the emotional aspect of leaving the life I've lived for my entirty. Plus, I've got it all right now. Friends that are like family, family that are my friends, a boyfriend... a boyfriend! (ME!), cool books to read, good music.... i mean, i really don't know what else I could ask for.
But even if there was more to ask for.. because there is.. there always is.. today is really all we've got. And really, I appreciate every second. When the end nears, we all begin to appreciate life a little more.

I had an odd dream last night with an old friend who things have ended coldly with. I dreampt that we hugged and everything was better. It made me sad because things really aren't better despite my attempts to make them so. But I'm glad for the things that make me sad in life. It keeps my mind in perspective. That's all for now. I like writing in this, so maybe i'll continue.

Don't let the blood in your heart turn to stone. Today we are alive.