finding peace

Tonight I went to Jodi's house.. her whole family was home for Christmas break.. it was nice. They're such an enjoyable bunch.. so comforting and easy to be around, and they all bring something different to the table. It's great. Anyway, I drove Kathleen and on the way over we were talking about the anxiety I've been having over things that matter so little. The night was nice, we sat around Jodi's room strumming the guitar some, talking some, eating lots of ice cream.. the usual.. And on the way home Kathleen and I picked up our conversation again coming to the conclusion that I should meditate or do yoga or something. It's funny because people always tell me that I'm such a hippie, in a making-fun-of-way... but the thing is, I really do understand why people do things like meditate or take yoga classes or PAINT or RUN.. because they're soothing. When a person has constant thoughts and questions running through their mind and the beautiful burden of trying to understand the 'true meaning of life'... it gets exhausting and overwhelming. Everyone's life can no matter what takes over your mind. It's important to find peace inside of yourself and just relax. I realized that's probably why I love painting so much. It's so relaxing and clears my mind, as does running.

I find it kind of sad that probably half of our contry is on some kind of anti-depressent or medication. I'm not saying that depression isn't alive and well (no pun intended) and something needs to be done about it... but it just seems to me that every problem in life suddenly has a diognosis with a perscription medicine right at hand. I think that it's amazing how life changing certain drugs can be... and wonderful at that... but at the same time, it seems like there are a lot of people taking a medication that isn't fixing the problem, nor will it... because the "problem" for many people isn't something a drug will fix. It's something that they have to identify within themselves and want to change. I mean hell, my mother is on edge and I'd love for her to just take some chill pills every now and then.. in fact, she does... but at the same time, I'd much rather her see some professional help, or look within herself for answers to the problem... answers that are long term... that she can feel good about finding. I just think that when a person is actually making a change for themselves... and succeeding through their hardships on their own, they have much more pride in who they are, and ultimately.. they are happier people. There's nothing wrong with taking medications... a lot of people's lives have been changed for the better, and i'm no doctor so I don't know the details... but I think it's just gotta feel more gratifying if you change yourself.