philosophies put into poetry.

i'm not sad, nor mad, just moving forward with a pace
that won't wait for my emotions to catch up
so i capture them in modesty
and explain to them with honesty
that they can exist
just not to slow down good living

i take these experiences in stride
kissing resentment goodbye
not getting high off of pride
not pretending through lies
i just look at what is
and i don't need to make it bigger than the truth

i've lost innocence over time
the kind that flies once it's free
and never retrieves
i've loved and lost that too
with not a damn thing to do
but carry with my gained wisdom and survival
and through all the trials
i'm always looking for the next
with every walked mile
i won't stop to rest

i'm not tired, nor scared, just a little unprepared
but still going
i'm not afraid of my strength
it's how i endure pain
and it's the only way to truly progress

fearless of falling or flying or dying
or dreaming or leaving and never returning

i decided that night to go the extra mile
which night? which mile?

i look back on 'the race'
knowing that sometimes you win with a smile
and sometimes with a tear
but we are not losing
so long as we are living

we are all so wealthy with our healthy minds and bodies
we are all so wealthy to be alive
LIVE! to do more than just survive
we are Alive.




a lot of awesome events occured during senior week. at the same time, a few really sucky things happened. mainly, i lost my virginity. and i'm basically writing this/telling whoever wants to know...not so that you judge, but because if you know me completely.. you'll know how important that was to me and how crappy it was that it happened there, while i was intoxicated, with someone who didn't mean anything to me. (i dated him a few summers ago, but we hadn't even kept in touch.) but my POINT that i'm trying to make by being so upfront and honest... is that after that happened... i cried.. for a good few hours. and felt like shit.. for the majority of the next day (once i was sober)... but i realized that things like that happen in life.. and this poem is what came out of everything. so hopfully, by just being honest about the reason behind this poem, my life philosophy will have more substance to it. and i;ve learned from this all that when something seemingly crappy happens in life, we don;t have to stop living. in fact, we can't. or we're shorting ourselves of everytthing we have left. so yeah, my virginity is gone. and it wasn't when/how/who i wanted it to be. but it happened. and my life is moving forward. and i will fall for someone and make love with them and all of those beauties will happen for me... because i believe in them. and because i know that they can happen. and because i am convinced that love exists, and can and will in my life.


leave your thoughts if you wish.

i have other poems and thoughts and stories to post. but i'll let this one settle first.

::fondly.