eventually you reach a resolution

so i know i previously posted about the rising action being a continuous theme and never quite reaching the climax... staying high off of the hunger and trek towards the big boom that never comes. but everything happening in my life right now begs me to differ from my previous thoughts and experiences. i'm not going to go into detail.. i'll just try to leave some thoughts.

once the point of anticipation is finally reached, and the tables turn, and the music crescendoes to it's peak... we're not left with no where to go but down. we're not left with a sad ending, or an ending at all necessarily... but that is one of our options.

because that's what we are left with... options. and i think that's what a resolution really is.. after a long anticipated event finally occurs.. or a life changing/habbit changing occurence finally takes place.. everything changes because options are finally available. and whatever choice you make is the potential start to a new build up... but perhaps it's the start to a calming. and that's another choice you make.. what you're going to start to make now that there are pieces to put together.

imagine a vase breaking. one that took a very long time to construct and put together. now it's shattered on the floor in a beautiful mess and array of colors, shapes and sizes. now no matter what, the vase will never be the same. so what do you do? throw it away and build a new one? piece it back together in the same fashion, trying to fill the gaps in with glue? make something crazy and abstract out of the pieces that you have, creating a completely different structure? WHO KNOWS! but now.. choices have to be made.

what i find to be most delicate and beautiful and heartbreaking all in one is the moment and point when you decide what to do with all the pieces. because when a decision is finally made to start over or to throw it away or to try to reform or whatever else.. you finally let go of that past, that habbit, that style of living, that nature... you stop recounting in your memory the vision of the vase that once was, and you start picturing the concept of the one to come. and it can apply to anything. to graduation, to moving away, to kissing someone, to breaking up with someone, to quitting a job, to finishing a project. any kind of change. the beauty and the pain comes in making the decision... in that last kiss goodbye to the past, and open eyes to the future.

so right now, the vase broke (actually, more than one vase broke...) and i still haven't made any decisions. but i know those bitter sweet beginnings are sneaking up on me to swallow the past.

when you think about it.. in some situations it really is better that the vase breaks so new options become available. and in one in particular, i'm so glad it happened.. because if it hadn't.. the vase would have just dusted over and become something i pull out every now and then with a sour spot in my heart because it never got used. so yeah.

why not give some advice-- and be open, not metephorical--
we're going away to college.. do everything you don't want to be left undone. say everything you've wanted to say. it's now or never. our chances are now. take them.

(rach)