two notes and a poem

today was better than yesterday. tonight was better than today.

at some point tonight kathleen was up dancing, jo was sitting to my side, danielle to the other, and jude behind me... and danielle sees me smiling at kathleen and says, "you love kathleen"... and i answered, "i DO love kathleen!"... and then i cried through a smile. haha.. for about 20 seconds. later jodi was performing her "don't forget me" song.. and kat got teary eyed.. it was heartwarming.. man. i really do just have the most amazing friends in the world. it's hard to believe that every moment tops the next, and even what most would find dull, we seem to find life in. it's just beautiful. and tonight it hit me that because of these incredible bonds, even when i don't have love in the form of a boyfriend, i hardly ever feel as though i'm alone or empty without someone special to share life's joys with. granted, there's always some void no matter where or who you are, but mine really has been greatly filled with these nothing short of brilliant individuals. and i just feel lucky. lucky and happy and greatful. (tim would ask me to what/who do i feel greatful? and i would answer, either myself or some higher being of god/fate that i'm not sure exists.. haha, sorry tim, i won't ever make up my mind)

other notes:
arts festival friday the 13th!! it's going to be amazing.. tell all your friends! and let me know if you want to play asap!
i'm seeing ani difranco tuesday in philly with jo and kat!!
i've been occupied after school by fricking page maker working on the literary magazine.. so if you want to help out, or are wondering where i am.. stop in the journalism lab and lend a hand. i'm likely to be there


now for a freshly written poem.. (fresh = 4th period today) :

It's a mystery to me how i have not yet
combusted from the inside out
It's a worry to me, this cycle that rushes
from one pole to the next
this drug that pours through my
blood to the center of my deepest
emotions, hurrying my pulse
to the speed of excitement and
lust and incessant longing
makes for a passionate tragedy
when the blood begins to wear
thin, losing its strength and immunity
Pain, it's the kill that looms and
slowly serenades a solemn song of sadness
singing, your face arrives at the front of my mind
reminding, reminding me of my
susceptibility to the
suicide of love
The climax reaches its peak and plummets
to the depths of Hades
punishing us for our sins, our
sincere deceptions marked by
heartfelt intentions and
dreams of a beautiful bearing
Entering cloudy heights of rapture, our
sins fall and our realities rise into the
world of whimsy fantasy
...Until we are grounded by the biting
truth that we are not alone!
and the sorry cycle spins on
Because I cannot deny, you cannot deny
we cannot run from the greater truth
that the glorious wonderland is worth the crying netherworld



night all.
who else is excited for life? (i said life because i was going to say summer, and then college, and then the train just kept chuggin..)

so yeah.. "every day's a good day... because i make it one!" - [leaving you with a quote from the famous] Mr. Bill

dream onn