The House of Coffee a la escuela... and other assorted thoughts.

Well last night certainly was interesting to say the least. It's one thing to be center stage for an act or two, or even an entire production if you're putting on an ACT... but when it's just you up there at center stage the majority of the evening and you're not putting on an act... it definitely feels like your life is center stage and everyone is watching it for the evening. That's how it felt last night, anyway. Probably because of all of the craziness going on right now. Not everyone was watching my life... but those who are being directly effected by me were most probably paying close attention. and it just felt awkward. I was really excited before the show, and glad that it was happening.. and even glad that i was going to go perform and mess up and just have a good time... But once the night kickstarted, I hardly got to enjoy the acts for what they were. and that's what these types of events are all about... enjoying the people who are up on stage putting themselves out there. I mean, damn.. what a beautiful concept. I guess in a way the same concept applied for what I did.. except it was for the whole evening.. and it was just random disarray.

I've been thinking about college a lot lately. Going away. Moving away. Far away. It's so odd to really think about... Up to this point in our lives everything has pretty much been planned out for us.. our parents have basically decided our childhoods with the exception of occasional mishap. Even still, stability has been in place. And to think that my life this far has been stable compared to what's in the future is like.. damn, how shakey can it get because i'm definitely already a rollercoaster.
This isn't necessarily the best time of our lives, contrary to popular belief. Perhaps it is just the most exciting... the most unstable... the most unpredictable. So if we call the crazed, the best time of our lives.. why do we seek stability? As we grow, we change and have new wishes based on what we feel we need. I suppose when we are young, we feel we need to go searching... to find ourselves and to find the world. But at what point does our thirst for newness die? At what point does the quest for adventure become a tiring path that we no longer feel like traveling... Is 4 years of college enough? How about a few years traveling around Europre after that? Then is it time to settle down and start a family? To find a career that will support the new hungry children we plan on bringing into this world?
Too much of anything isn't a good thing. Even too much curiosity. So I suppose we hold onto it while we're young and it's at it's peak. I suppose we find as many answers that we can while we're still searching for them. I suppose we take none of these questions and push them aside because others aren't asking them. And I suppose as we grow older and lose that thirst for knowledge and answers that we used to posess.. we miss the questioning. because with every question that we search for answers to there is a new adventure towards discovery. Maybe when we're young doesn't have to be the only time of our lives that is the best time of our lives if we keep near our sense to always discover more.
Are we afraid? Of course. Am I afraid? Hell yeah. But that's exactly why I want to go to Boston for school. I want to face that fear and grow and change and have thousands of questions constantly running through my head. I want them to be new questions, fresh and changing always.

So I'm off to the land of the unknown, I hope... and maybe every stage in my life will be the best time of my life if I keep living with my curiosity and passion for answers at the front of my mind.