coming to terms

alright, so last night after i wrote that extensive blog, i went upstairs and tucked myself in under my covers, and i just thought about everything i was feeling. i decided to logically reason why i was feeling sad and what i could do to feel better. (can you believe it?) and it worked.. it really did. i realized that the reason why i haven't been sad to be graduating, haven't been sad to be finishing highschool, haven't been sad to be moving away.. is because this whole past year or so i've been living through changes and new experiences. although my friends have remained pretty constant, almost every weekend we do something we've never done before. and i mean to me, that's awesome.
so last night, it made sense that i was getting so emotional over not being in the play.. because through all the changes and growing and new experiences.. that was still always something that remained constant. but the truth is, i chose not to do it because i had grown out of it in this setting... and because i got shafted lol. so i mean, it wasn't what i wanted to do 100%.. but it worked out. and yeah, it's sad that i didn't have that experience one last time... but through this i've learned that whatever experiences i really want in life, i've got to be the one to make them happen for myself. and that's that.
once again, thanks for listening. and maybe these posts won't be so sappy after all.. who knows, i can't predict the weather of my mind. haha.. good day.