a glimmer of hope in a weary world

yesterday was inspiringly eventful. this entry is long, but worth the read.

jo kat and i all hopped into MamaMazda (jodi's car) at around 2:30 on our way to philly for
the ani difranco concert! jodi knew this guy Chris who lived in Camden, NJ who was a friend of
the church/their family and who had just stayed at their house last weekend.. and so we had
planned to stop and get dinner at their place and have them show us around the neighborhood.
Now if you're familiar with NJ, you'll know that Camden is literally the ghetto. Until
about 2 years ago, their neighborhood was completely neglected by the government, and
absolutly no funding was designated for their area. It was looked at as a lost cause. and
it practically was.

Almost two years ago, there was this group of about 10 young people at a church in a suburb of Chicago who were informed of the area and all that was going on. They were led by their faith in Jesus Christ as their role model to this city, to this neighborhood, to this 3 story appartment located in the middle of horrible crime, prostitution, polution, and drugs and that had been abandoned for 6 years. They decided they were going to renovate this run down apparment, and make it into a home that would be the basis and network for positive and helpful deeds in the area.

When we got there (after getting lost for a great while), Chris and his wife Cassie were
standing outside the appartment waiting for us and directed us into their graveled drive way
that had a refigorater turned on its side where they threw all of their kitchen scraps until
they composited into mulch. (they were also growing all sorts of vegetables in their half-rock-filled soil) They brought us into their home and explained their vision to us. Just to quote them
correctly, part of their vision from off of their website CamdenHouse.org states, "Any
member in the house might be involved in any different type of work toward seeking justice
and/or care for the needy, addicted, orphaned, widowed, or just depressed—recognizing that
often we do not always bring the gospel to the poor in our service, but they bring it to us
in "Jesus' distressing disguise.""

I mean, I'm not religious, let alone christian, but that really really doesn't matter. What these people are doing with their lives is incredible and so inspiring, no matter what their original drive may be. It takes such courage on so many levels... from the realness of their
own safety to the hardship of hope and encouragement to keep going. So let me tell you more of what exactly they're doing.

As the man showed us around his home, one of the things he pointed out to us was a row of about 12 bikes lined up that they had collected for local kids. They started kind of a match-maker program in the neighborhood, paring up kids and bikes. After the tour of the home, we got going on the tour of the hood, and it was just crazy. About a block and a half away from their rowhouse, was a huge sewege plantation and also a licorish plantation where they made mulch. the odors were servere and pungent as we listened to chris give us a small history lesson by the water. Next stop was at a maybe 15x30 square foot fenced off garden that was basically in people's back yards. The group planted onions and mushrooms and other assorted vegetables there in hopes to bring life to a once dying area. We went to a greenhouse bought by the group after that with basically the same goal.

I can't go on in detail about all of the wonderful things they're doing (mainly because i don't know the details and i don't want to misrepresent this mission).. but being there was just amazing. we had no clue that that was what we were in for (or at least i didn't), when they said we could come get some dinner and they'd show us around their neighborhood. But the experience was definitely eye-opening. Just whitnessing the way these people lived.
Their home is communal, their meals are all communal, their praying is done in group, and
their focus is on their faith, their religion, and their love for one another, rather than
focusing on themselves. It was really beautiful to see... the whole thing was like a spec of
light, a little glimmer, that refuses to stop growing in a very dark and weary fog. They
were committed to their life style and to their hope for improving the lives of others.

The experience made me feel very much like i'm not doing enough with my life. So i hope
that through reading this, some of you may be inspired to do more for those less fortunate
than yourself... or at least be able to recognize where you stand amidst this society of
people, and how lucky you are for being there. Because that's what this whole event did for
me.

Now I didn't know that a person could feel much more inspiration in the time span of one
day, but with an ani difranco concert on the schedule, it's almost impossible to not feel
inspired. We were late for the show, so Chris and his wife sent us in the car with a tupaware of broccoli, crumpetts, grahm crackers, pretzles, some chocolate, and apples and pares for dinner. it was awesome. haha.. but after getting lost numerous more times, and asking several different people for directions, we finally arrived at the Keswick theatre! and it was beautiful. old fashioned, artsy, and in the middle of a very new england-like small town.

Ani was just incredible. She just stood there and played her heart out with her bassest at her side plucking away. As she sang I just kept thinking, 'this is a person not afraid to excell at who she is'.

I think that so much of society and so much of ourselves are telling us to conform, to be well rounded, to be stable and under control.. but i really don't believe that we're all made to be that way. ani really is an inspiration to say yes to that little voice inside your head that's begging to be acknowledged, to act on your instincts and live forth your intuitions... to go in the direction of who you are, rather than what people want or expect you to be.

am i really going to college in the fall? all this anticipation is crazy for the mind.

i really have to say thank you to kathleen and jodi for sharing so much with me and encouraging so much of who i am. i love you guys.

i could go on forever.. but i'll stop here.

make something of today

two notes and a poem

today was better than yesterday. tonight was better than today.

at some point tonight kathleen was up dancing, jo was sitting to my side, danielle to the other, and jude behind me... and danielle sees me smiling at kathleen and says, "you love kathleen"... and i answered, "i DO love kathleen!"... and then i cried through a smile. haha.. for about 20 seconds. later jodi was performing her "don't forget me" song.. and kat got teary eyed.. it was heartwarming.. man. i really do just have the most amazing friends in the world. it's hard to believe that every moment tops the next, and even what most would find dull, we seem to find life in. it's just beautiful. and tonight it hit me that because of these incredible bonds, even when i don't have love in the form of a boyfriend, i hardly ever feel as though i'm alone or empty without someone special to share life's joys with. granted, there's always some void no matter where or who you are, but mine really has been greatly filled with these nothing short of brilliant individuals. and i just feel lucky. lucky and happy and greatful. (tim would ask me to what/who do i feel greatful? and i would answer, either myself or some higher being of god/fate that i'm not sure exists.. haha, sorry tim, i won't ever make up my mind)

other notes:
arts festival friday the 13th!! it's going to be amazing.. tell all your friends! and let me know if you want to play asap!
i'm seeing ani difranco tuesday in philly with jo and kat!!
i've been occupied after school by fricking page maker working on the literary magazine.. so if you want to help out, or are wondering where i am.. stop in the journalism lab and lend a hand. i'm likely to be there


now for a freshly written poem.. (fresh = 4th period today) :

It's a mystery to me how i have not yet
combusted from the inside out
It's a worry to me, this cycle that rushes
from one pole to the next
this drug that pours through my
blood to the center of my deepest
emotions, hurrying my pulse
to the speed of excitement and
lust and incessant longing
makes for a passionate tragedy
when the blood begins to wear
thin, losing its strength and immunity
Pain, it's the kill that looms and
slowly serenades a solemn song of sadness
singing, your face arrives at the front of my mind
reminding, reminding me of my
susceptibility to the
suicide of love
The climax reaches its peak and plummets
to the depths of Hades
punishing us for our sins, our
sincere deceptions marked by
heartfelt intentions and
dreams of a beautiful bearing
Entering cloudy heights of rapture, our
sins fall and our realities rise into the
world of whimsy fantasy
...Until we are grounded by the biting
truth that we are not alone!
and the sorry cycle spins on
Because I cannot deny, you cannot deny
we cannot run from the greater truth
that the glorious wonderland is worth the crying netherworld



night all.
who else is excited for life? (i said life because i was going to say summer, and then college, and then the train just kept chuggin..)

so yeah.. "every day's a good day... because i make it one!" - [leaving you with a quote from the famous] Mr. Bill

dream onn

a wave of changes

for lack of eloquency, just to get these thoughts/updates out
1) i'm going to towson in the fall and transfering to northeastern in the spring if i don't still get in first semester
2)i cleaned my room
3) i love my friends
4)i love a fella in a very non conventional style - and i've come to terms with that
5) it's scary and inviting to think of everything that will change come september...
6) but for now, there are so many amazing opportunities and chances to be lived that most definitely won't sink with a scared attitude.
7) because the concept and reality of right NOW is so important and so empowering if used that way.
8) senior suprilitives bother me.. i just don't understand their importance. someone care to argue that? i'd like to hear a different opinion.
9) the motivational speaker at the band trip was very motivational, for lack of creative word choice.
10) it amazed me today in class to really look at how selfish and immature a great majority of students are.... is learning in class not a team effort too? that with a few bad seeds, the whole experience can be easily posioned? or with more positivity, can be skyrocketed with illumination and encouragement?

alright, the list thing was just to get so many thoguhts out quickly...

i'm going to walk around the lake with jodi on this beautiful day. comment if you'd like more depth on one of my rants... rants is a positive word-- because talking about things is good!

that brings something else up -- imagine if people didn't ignore/hide their daily misfortunes. imagine if people weren't ridiculed for feeling sad.. imagine if a genuine moment was taken out of every day to really ask someone else.. hey, what's up? how you doin today? -- fine is such a cop out answer. and in some places.. people really stop to hear the truth.. and i just think that if that happened more places... if more people actually wanted to hear the truth, less people would be afraid or embarrased to admit their truths.. and maybe we'd all be better off. i think so.

i haven't made time to sit down and really get out all the things i want to say. but soon enough, i will. thanks for reading.
rach

yay, i'm back.

i feel better. i found some good solutions for the two big problems. 1-i'm going to pitt next year (unless i hear from northeastern) 2-it's now fella friend's responsibility to be honest with everything.

and jodi reminded me that i'm not crazy, which was vital and necessary to be reminded of.

it's nice to know or believe that eventually i will get used to this mess of a person i am, and i will somewhat settle into myself. but for now, it's nice to know that i'm changing and somewhat manic and somewhat bipolar and very in love with it all. because eventually i will be sitting in the position of my mother or some elder, settled role and i won't be experiencing the kind of dramatic growth that i'm currently experiencing.. so i might as well milk it for what it's worth, right? there's nothing wrong with where i am or what i'm going through.. it's life.

and it's almost funny this situation i'm in. i admire you, mister. and the funny thing is, through all of this long chaotic mess, you really are one person i've accepted and not tried to control. hah. whatcha say about that one?


so i feel a lot better, but still anxious to keep on this journey toward... myself... "self discovery" (yeah, i know, i'm so cliche... too bad i mean it all.) anyway, i'm looking for some concerts/good music/fun adventures this summer.. or now for that matter. take me out.

music trip this weekend.. you know what that means... (imply whatever you want.)

yeah.. it's time for me to read and sleep. and tomorrow, i really want to go running. kick my ass if i don't. i've been a physical bum lately.


and hopfully soon these posts won't consist so much of my crazy emotional mayhem and will go back to more interesting thoughts and experiences. but all that had to be put on hold. my mind was under construction. har har har.

it really is time for me to sleep. ha. night loves.

much to learn

as you can/have probably learned about me through reading this blog and/or actually being part of my life, i have trouble sitting still. (hence the name of this blog). but i mean the term sitting still in both a literal and figurative sense.

i suppose when i was talking to my friend today and he told me that i try to control my life, it hit me in a weird way.

i am productive when i feel it a necessity. and "productivity" seems necessary to me when it's dealing with my life in terms of relationships with others, or emotions within myself. really, all other things that most people find as priorities really don't stand out in my life. and obveously relationships and emotions are always changing.. therefore, there are always things to be taken care of.

i'm probably not making complete sense.. but i'm still trying to get this said.

so i've always kind of looked at myself as someone who goes with the flow, not very uptight about things, relaxed, etc.. but i think today i realized that stands true for all things outside myself. i can go with the flow as long as it's not directly affecting me. but once it does, uht-oh.. no can do. problem. alert.

for instance, relationships and i = disaster. why? i probably want to know exactly what's going to happen where when and why just to be safe. just to ensure that some ass hole doesn't break my heart. or just to be sure i don't end up in some relationship/trap that i don't want to be in... like every decision is final. i can't just let it be and see where it goes. not saying i'd be paranoid about single actions or everyday things.. but yes, paranoid about whether or not the situation was "right"... like that's something that can just be determined and known. ? it's not.

also, i think i'm just afraid of attachments. because lately i've been pretty destructive... even though i don;'t know where i'm going to college, i know that i'm not going to be with my friends. and just the other day, i was like giving jodi an attitude about something.. basically as a subconscious way to push her away so i wouldn't feel as hurt when we seperate.

okay: two things are sick right now. 1-that i do what i do. 2-that i analyze myself doing them.

it would be really nice if through experiences, or maybe through all of this thought i could learn how to just accept things in my life for what they are. i accept things in life for what they are all the time. i laugh at them and enjoy them or empathize or whatever.. but in my own life i have the hardest time just letting things be.

like i always feel i need to fix things in my life to make them "ideal". and then once i've accomplished that, i need to create something else or find something else to work on. i'm a fixer in every sense of the word... but you can't go through life trying to fix every relationship you're in.. because really, that's just creating a problem!

so yeah. i don't know where this is leading to.. i just know that i have a lot to learn. and much to experience. and i guess i'm worried that i'll end up wasting so much of my time trying to fix everything... but this is just who i am right now, and just what i have to go trhough to get to whatever's next. i'm just living, damnit! and i'm definitely over-analyzing my life. but that's the way that i am. so if you read this and think, 'just stop thinking so much!' that's not going to work, i've tried.


hmm. yeah. but it would be interesting to hear some new voices. maybe some outside opinion would be beneficial. feel free to comment.

sighhhh

alright, there's no more telling myself that i'll just go to HCC in the fall. that's not happening. i'm not downing HCC, but damnit, it's not for me. I can't wait to get out of highschool to meet new and interesting and intellectually stimulating people. and i'm really just not the type to "oh well" a situation and settle for poop. so, if i still don't get into UMD or Northeastern in the fall, I'm going to Upitt. and that's settled. and if i want to transfer to northeastern from there for the spring semester, so be it, i will.

i really needed to decide that.. because this whole college thing has subconsciously been taking over my attitude. i've just felt down lately and i think a big part of it is feeling like i'm "not good enough" for some damn school. which in reality, doesn't really mean crap. but in the larger reality of my mind, it does. because the bottom line is i want to go some place where i feel i'll be happy. and hcc is not that place for me. and it just makes me sad to see all of my friends excited about going off to some wonderful school that they really wanted to go to and me being like.. uhh, yeah... college? it shouldn't be a college? it should be a college!.. and i'm fricking smart and mature and just not someone who should stay home for the first semester of college.. i can hardly take being home now! ahh. so yeah. and the fact that i'm shitting on school this quarter just makes it worse. just makes me feel like i'm even more retarted. when i'm really just not motivated right now. mother frikcing frickerhy.,dgj.

thank you for listening to me vent. i thought this would make me feel better, but somehow it's leading me to no where but more frusterated emotions.

AND.. i'm in a god damn MAZE of a relationship right now. and i can't help but love it and hate it and want to embrace it and push it away all at once. guh!


so, i'm just going to wait god damn tables and hopfully not fuck up. that optimism isn't smiling right now. it's crooked and confused and feeling like crap.

but, i don't want to let my life just go down the drain because of this. i need to stay up. i can't let everything i do suffer... even though this isn't some small matter. it's all working out, right?

right???

it's 4:30 a.m. i've been up for a half hour... went to bed at 4p.m. yesterday. "i've never been so alone, and i've never been so alive" (at the beginning of the song, not the end). so if you're a motorcycle drive by analysist, that's your ticket into my emotions this morning. (and i'll probably tell you in the next few lines. i'm such a give a way)

summer, where are you?
i'm being a dumb ass about school. in other words, doing no school work at all. and getting crappy grades because of it. and not learning anything. and i get mad at myself because of it. hah. either do your work or get over it, but you're being self-defeating, rachael! yeah, i know. and i should do my work because for me that's the only way to "get over it"

so that's the reason why i'm awake anyway. to write this english paper that was due forever ago. so I make sure that i don't get a D in english. because i've gotten As and Bs on everything, but i don't know how much this paper is worth compared to the rest of them... therefore, if i ever stop procrastinating on this blog, i bet i'll feel a lot better once i just write this damn paper. wow, i have such a guilty consious.

akrjhjrnhrwh.

someone commented on my poetry. i bet i could guess who.

thank god it's only a half day. lit mag's going to have one hell of a meeting today.

i'm waiting tables sat and sunday all day at clyde's outside on the patio... come out and get some good food. sunday's brunch and delicious!

i want to have an excellent day. because it's been a weird start. now i haveee to go write that paper. later

biting optimisim?

i was talking to my lovely male friend today during lunch.. in and out of different topics and such.. and it was strange, one thing led to another and he ended up saying something along the lines of, "i think your optimisim is so unusually genuine that our pessimistic society doesn't know how to accept you... can't accept you."

it was a "what the fuck?" kind of truth. as in, why is this so true? shouldn't it be the opposite way around?.... but, it's not.

i went to DC today with jodi and danielle and saw the cherry blossoms and magnolia trees and monuments and wonderfulness of our capital. it was good to be there.. i felt like after travelling to all of these amazing places in greece, it was really great to feel connected to my own country.. cause coming home i really felt no pride in being american.. but honestly, the country we live in is so full of liberty and freedom and adaptation.. and everywhere you go in life sheds a different kind of opportunity.. so here, in this country, i have to appreciate what i've got and make the most of it all. there's so much just waiting to be embraced if you're willing to make the effort.

hunter s. thompson: an author i really want to explore.

life? where the hell am i going with you? i have no clue. college? so i got waitlisted to Northeastern for the fall semester, got in for the spring. .but i'm pretty sure i'm going to go there no matter what... which means, what am i going to do during the fall? i don't want to spend 20,000$ going to upitt or towson or wherever just to transfer.. so i'm probably going to end up going to HCC for the fall. (this will be funny to read a few months from now when it's all figured out)

it's just so weird to think about. which is why i don't. i could still get into UMD or Norhteastern for the fall, and if i do, i'll probably end up going... but for now the two schools i want to go to don't want me til the spring!

but the weirdest/hardest part to even imagineee is not being with my closest friends. i mean, i was gone for what, 10 days and i mean, i was having a fricking ball.. but i just kept thinking.. oh, jodi would loveee this, or micayla would go crazy over these guys, or danielle would buy EVERYTHIGN, or kathleen would fall in love with the aura. this is me drifting away from these thoughts before they build....

so what's better... to let the "what if" linger and play the intriuging, innocent game of "we'll never know" forever... or to step out on a limb and let it all happen, setting yourself up for a beautiful demise? because i've been living the former for almost 2 years now, never risking the latter.

well shit, 2 years is a long ass rising action.. but i've never been one to put the book down before i even reach the climax. (that's actually a lie, i start books all the time that i don't finish... but the good ones i always read all the way through.. and the metaphor worked..so yeah)

italianchic311: how much better can life really get? i really hope it gets better and not like... we're old

rairai1012: it won't

rairai1012: life is a constant rising action if you live it that way

italianchic311: and the climax is death?

rairai1012: sure.

italianchic311: i guess i can deal with that.. the falling action was never that interesting anyway

this could be an example of my biting optimism, i suppose. haha.. i love jodi. i mean realllly.

what a day/night it has been. ... i'm lost in a world of unknowns and knowns and findings and escapings and questions and blah blah blahs wearing green skirts to pass the wind, not time.

that made no sense, goodnight lovelies.

disclaimer: i cannot spell. i'm somehow sighing and smiling and worrying and wandering all at once. how do i work with out breaking? haha. who knowsss

hold the gun

across the ship a poor boy sits sipping his coke and rum
and somehow i see the him in me as i sit silent, alone with these thoughts on my tongue
novice ideas of unity in you and me and then they quickly float on past
even the tender congruity of humanity cannot, will not last

similarities, those liars, set up to fool us all to fall
off deck without our life vests on the one-way stream towards societal call
lying, oh to lie along the water paved in colorful rocks
but your rocks take me to a world too free for me
too fantastically ecstasy
and i'm afraid what would become of me if i took the seat beside your soul

a sorry boy sits across the world, i know him very well
he winds himself down then fumbles around and falls victim to poisoning himself
another world with pretty pearls and colorful stones to fill our bags
another world with dreamers and feelers and cherries blooming like there's no doom looming
maybe another world wouldn't crash and hurl at the beauty of creative minds
but every time i find a boy sitting in sight with a drink and a light
my heart cannot help but sway and the waves cannot help but crash
and all the splendor in suggestive hearts just barely doesn't fall apart
it lingers on wanting me to share the drink of bliss and bask in rocks that break me free
and let me be, and let me be

i dream of a boy next to me who's freedom i can swallow
but the worst of my heart has got the best of my mind and will not let me wallow
just to follow the sea as the wind blows us along
the tide can frown and turn us around and still sing us a beautiful song
but just to follow the sea would age my naivety
freedom, the fearful gun i am terrified to hold

a tune i've heard many times serenades me on this sailing eve
believe, believe, darling believe
sip your coke and rum
untie your anchor and be one
with the tranquility of the endless sea
and the ecstasy of connectivity
despite it's biting brutality

hold the gun, hold the gun
untie your anchor and be one
speak the heart that’s dying to be freed from your taciturn, silenced tongue
hold the gun

greecian beauty!

my my my emotions are high. (that was studdering and rhythmic). anywho, it's odd to type, feels like it's been forever.
what a break from reality and a glimpse into a different one the past 10 days have been. i took pictures of breathtaking sunsets on ancient greek islands (that eventually i'll figure out how to put on the internet.. ha), picked rocks with beautiful people from the beautiful beachs of rhodes, threw up on the Agean 1 (our dashing cruise ship that loved to rock), roamed one of the 7 wonders of the world in Turkey, made out with a hot british guy in a club in Athens, danced with Greeks, ate delicious (actual greek) and not so delicious(cruise/hotel) foods, rode a donkey to the top of a mountain that hosted the phenomenal city of Santorini, lost my voice, went to amazing museums, attempted to speak greek... need i continue?
i cannot seem to come straight out and say, 'this has been the best time of my life!', only because i'm just not one to call something the best/worst/whatever... but i can say that this has been, to put it in one word that we used oh so often, 'Awesome!!'.. Throughout the trip I kept feeling like I was gaining a global experience rather than just a Greek one because there were people from everyyywhere in greece and on the cruise.

wow. i have so much i could write about. the musing went on and on as i was introduced to new wonders my mind wandered. i wrote some poetry, drew some pictures, bought a crap load of crap (for myself and others)...

so i had never been to europe before this, but it was crazy for me to see how English really is such a global language. In every airport we went to (ones in germany, greece, and france) Everything was subwritten in English.. and in Germany and Greece espcially.. almost every-other advertisment/billboard was written in English. Yes, I'm just niave, it's not that astounding.. but it made me feel a little self centered. (not like i could help it or do anything about it).. but it just bothered me to know that the whole world knows my language and i know no one elses (minus my crappy attempts at spanish). Also, the majority of people i spoke to from other countries (greece, serbia.. okay, that was it) spoke english. So it really makes me want to if not learn other countries languages (because there are just too damn many to learn them all) at least learn about their cultures/histories etc.

at one point when we were at Santorini, Judy and I had gone back to "Lucky's" for our second gyro in about 30 minutes cause they were THAT good... and while she was waiting in line i ran to get my mom a greek cook book... and it was so crazy, as i was running back (we were short on time) i broke out into a laughing/crying fit because i couldn't get over how amazing and beautiful and free the place that i was standing in was. and when i got back, judy told me that she had just started to cry because the experience was so beautiful.

i jotted down a re-cap of what we did every day because we jammed so many things into one day i knew that i would never remember/keep everything straight. It's too much to re-write here, but i'll touch on some of the highlights...

in Mychinoes after walking around for a while, i stopped in a little gyro shop and was trying to ask a little old man in greek for a recommendation. he didn't know what i was saying but he was so nice.. he kept hugging me and fed me his fetta cheese from his fork!! hahaha.. it was funny. the people are just different... so layed back, so much culture, so much pride.
Ephasus (one of the 7 wonders of the world) was so awesome.. the tour guide was really smart and was feeding us all sorts of fun facts (that of course my brain-dead mind doesn't remember).. but we saw the original Nike statue and the doctor symbol with the snake..
I loved Patmos so much. Instead of shopping we roamed around the back alleys of beautiful colored houses and local greek homes picking delicious lemons and photographs and sun in our faces.
wow, it's so weird to be home.
Before we got off the ship for Rhodes, Alaina Paige and I were eating lunch and we befriended this guy named Steve from california.. he ended up roaming around Rhodes with us and we went to this awesome museum and then picked rocks from the beautiful beach for at least 2 hours. any average joe might have thought us crazy for sitting, legs spread, pants rolled up, filling our bags with assorted rocks.. but there was no where i would have rather been. it was beautiful and peaceful and perfect.
While we were in crete i really felt like i could see myself living there.. it was a very blue-colar-like city. kind of reminded me of baltimore, minus all the drugs (i'm sure they're there though)... that was another thing about greece.. i saw hardly any homeless people. i know they're somewhere, but they were hidden well.
**insert santorini/judy/gyros bit from above (i'm trying to do this is chronological order)
mmm...soft pretzles and pasteries and chocolate covered cherries. at a food break after departing from the ship and on the way to the Temple of Posidon i stopped into a little authentic greek bakery and it was delectible! (and the people who worked there were just so friendly) At the temple the wind nearly blew us off the cliff, but i thought it made the whole experience more memorable/interesting/fun. ... i really will insert pictures soon. as in within the next few days.
much greatness in athens but i'm getting tired.. so i'll maybe finish this tomorrow.

i feel so lucky in so many ways for so many reasons from so many perspectives. sometimes i feel too lucky, like why did i get to live this life when so many people don't have even the slightest bit of it? but then really, everyone has their highs and lows, their beauties and sorrows. including myself. everyone does. so i appreciate the experience that i had in greece and i know this is just the beginning of my travels. this world is amazing when you think that there is no radius because every center, every person, every being is infinite.

i have poems to post about travels and loves and lost feelings and even more.

perhaps since i got waitlisted to Northeastern i'll just work/travel in the fall and start in january. i mean, really, i'd have a great time.

what better is there to do than live the life you wish to live?

love to all corners of the world via internet-rach